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         I have spent so long on this! With exams coming up I have only had five minutes here or there to work on it. So... enjoy!

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       Unfortunately, I am in the market for a new horse. I have been searching all over the Internet looking at ads an various websites (none of which are craigslist). I realize that not everybody is a professional horse person nor can they afford one. But why, might I ask, do people (even some "professionals) seem to use the most unflattering pictures of their horses? There are many problem areas that absolutely make no sense to me. None of them relate to how much money a person has, just laziness and/or incompetence. I have compiled a list of common problems that I have found from photo ads.
1. Wrong Information
     These types of ads are usually posted by the craigslist horse people. The kind that name their horses Midnight, Lightning, and Spot. It doesn't matter how long they have been around horses, they will never learn. Just not born a horsey person even though their intentions are sometimes the best (of course sometimes not, too). These ads typically send a grammar-Nazi in to seizures. Here is an example:

     I could talk forever about the presentation but that is not what this example is about. The ad says a few things that just don't quite match up with the picture.

-Black- Nope he is most defiantly dark bay. Even a horse that at times appears back but fades is not truly a black horse. So.... FALSE!

-15.5hh- Um... what? In what world would a horse be 15.5hh? 15.0hh, 15.1hh, 15.2hh, 15.3hh....ready for the next one? 16HH! What is this? You mean to tell me that there are only four inches in a hand? 

-1000.0lbs- I can't figure out if he is 15.2hh or 16.1hh, but either way he does NOT weigh 1000lbs! My 15.1 petite TB mare weighs at least 1100+. He doesn't look that skinny but what ever you say! I know that isn't right!

-GENTEL- What is this speak? Oh, it is all coming together now! 15.5hh and GENTEL! You are from outer space on the island I like to call Ignorantopia. Here is a map:

       But not to worry! Who ever buys that horse is probably from Ignorantopia, too.

2. Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire! 

    Of course another good way to make me foam at the mouth is to lie to me. I will not post an example of this kind of ad from the Internet because it is impossible to find (or just hard and I am lazy?). Either way this is bad! People do this all the time drugging the horse, wearing it out before the rider gets there, not telling about diseases and vices when asked, etc. This is why, when I invest in an animal I always get a pre-purchase exam. Not exactly the full-body x-rays, but I have a thorough medical exam done by my favorite vet. Trust me always worth the extra cash because if, for whatever reason, you decide to sell the horse and you discovered a disease such a navicular is present then, it is going to be extremely difficult to try and sell the horse (at least for me, I would never lie to a buyer). Even if you don't find the disease the next owner might! POOF! There goes your reputation! The Bad-Luck-Fairy strikes again!

3. Background

    Not to say that  the fanciest farm needs to be behind your horse when you take an ad picture but, at least make it simple, safe, and not distracting. I mean, I could barely see the horse around all that stuff laying around! Of course I once more got distracted by the horse (more on that later).

4. Proper Set-Up

      I don't mean that the horse needs to be braided, square and in a silver plated halter conformation shot; but I shouldn't have to squint to make the horse look good. I also shouldn't need glasses to find which end is his head. Candid shots are cute but really not the best if you ACTUALLY want to sell your horse. I always do a double-take when I come across an ad like the one above, and not just because of the background.

     Why would you choose to post a picture of your horse like this. It is impossible to tell anything about this horse (except for the malnourished part). I costs no more money to take a picture like this:

5. Bad Riders

     Not to nit-pick and be one of those people that gives advice when not asked, but this is another interesting topic that I feel I should bring up. I will not show it but I recently just watched a video of a rider and a horse competing in showjumping for the sale video. Now, in this video I found it impossible to tell whether it was the horse pulling the rider or vise verse.

     Another instance I found was a rider that sat down FAR too early over the jump. This was causing the horse to jump hollow and incorrectly. I could NOT see what this horse had to offer. What a shame, he was out of my price range by about $50,000. (Yeesh)

6. And of course, the ever common bad color coordination, dangerous situation, taking jump pictures at the wrong time, etc. These are things that can easily be fixed!

      

     Sometimes it is possible to look past these things and use a well trained eye to spot a diamond in the rough. This is not always easy or possible. Spending just five extra minutes on preparation, safety, and not to mention color coordination, can make the difference between a trip out to look at the horse or hitting the back button on the search bar.

Ignorantopia

Dear fellow equine enthusiasts,
   

                                                     I. Am. Speechless.

       I have just recently made friends with a girl in my study group who, as I happily discovered, owns horses. I was so happy to finally have a horsey friend that I can see on an everyday basis. She boards her horses at a self care barn just across the street from my favorite tack shop. Every time I drive by I think "What a lovely place." It is one of those quaint farms that are just so.... artistic. Upon meeting this girl she proceeds to tell me that she is retraining her two western paint horses to do eventing. So of course I am thinking "YES! Finally somebody I can have REAL horsey conversations with! Wa-hooo!"
    But no. She then proceeds to tell me that one of the horses wouldn't stay on the rail when she pulled on the outside rein and she couldn't figure out how to fix this. Here is our conversation (thoughts in red) I would like to point out that at first I gave her the benefit of the doubt:

Me: WTF! And you are training this horse? You madame, need the help of a professional coach. So, do you have a trainer or a coach that can help? 

Her: No, I do everything on my own. I started to ride a year ago and quit lessons about eight months ago. I don't need a trainer I watch Clinton Anderson videos and do Parreli.

Me: What... why... how... when... um... Do you need any help um... exercising your horses. I hate to be a know-it-all but maybe I can squeeze in a few helpful tips on the side. She has no business training horses. Either her, her horses, or somebody else is going to get hurt.


Her: No, it is OK they only get ridden 1-3 times a week anyway.

Me: Oh, they must be young and you don't want to stress them out, riiiight, okay I get it now. So, how old are they?

Her: 2 and 1 and 1/2.

Me: It probably isn't the best idea to be riding them that young.

Her: It is OK. They already have plenty of training in them.

Me: Just walk away before somebody gets hurt. Oh well if you ever need any help you have my number.


Her: Actually, since I want to go to Rolex as soon as possible would you mind teaching me cross country?

Me: Um.... maybe that's not the best idea. You would need a professional coach. And maybe a psychologist! 






      On another particular occasion when doodling occurred and she drew a horse with cloven hooves (she is an AMAZING ARTIST!):

Me: Oh, that's cool is it some sort of unicorn type horse?

Her: No, just a normal one.

Me: Dafuq! Horses hooves are one piece...

Her: No, stupid! Some can have cloven hooves it just depends on the farrier's specifications.

Me: What kind of farrier are you dealing with? *insert questioning look here*




      A very good (and attractive ;D) guy rider that I am friends with said the most... well dumb thing I have heard this weekend, I don't know how he survived pony club. We went to a XC schooling and my horse was sweating and breathing hard. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Oh, she needs to be cooled down I will be right back.

Him: Give her a big bucket of cold water right now, that will help her out.

(please tell me somebody gets this)

      No joke. These were things that were actually said to me. Why people. WHYYYYY! Please explain to me why, in a world in which Google exists, do we not have any knowledge of the horse what so ever! Ugh. Please. I don't want to sound snooty, but really guys (especially the first girl I told you about) how can we not know basic horse management! This is a reason why certain people should NOT be around horses. Or they should at the very least do some research.

   
     As far as the "trainer" girl goes I really have no words to describe her. We are no longer friends because of an argument over why a picture I saw over her riding in shorts, flip-flops, and a baseball cap was dangerous. She. Was. Jumping.

     People with thick skulls (myself included) really puzzle me. The ones that have no knowledge of horses really get to me (cloven hooves?). They have the nerve to give right minded horse-people advice, but no sense to take advice from people that know what they are doing.

     Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention. That girl? The "trainer"? Yes, I asked her how she found the time between work and school to take care of her horses and do you know what she told me? "Oh, I only clean their stalls out every three days. It is basically the same concept as a hamster cage."

JUST. NO.

     I feel that this is a perfect time (given the_____ of these two people I have discussed) to present to all of my thepostingtrot.blogspot.com readers a brand new land that I have discovered. Ignorantopia! Here lives the utterly and hopelessly clueless:

Whenever I feel as though this is the birth place of the subject I am discussing, this lovely new map will be presented. Enjoy!

Yours Truly,

The Posting Trot

YouTube is... interesting!

     YouTube is an interesting place for horse lovers. I took a sick day yesterday and basically spent the day watching videos. The pure insanity and stupidity of some of these "riders" made the vomiting worse (probably).  I found a few interesting horsey categories.
1. Animal Abuse
     I find that some of these can be particularly accurate and tear inducing. My attention is draw, however, toward people that have created these propaganda videos without the proper education and research. (sounds like PETA to me). This one really makes me mad. I believe that this is what is wrong with the fight against animal cruelty today, people with weak arguments (and grammar) that make these uneducated videos. Here is how the "story line" of this video goes: 1. horse is great; preforms well dressage or otherwise 2. falls down 3. owner/rider beats the horse and starves it. See it here. First off, only a mentally insane person, or an asshat would do something so stupid. Second, WHY WOULD YOU BEAT A HORSE FOR FALLING DOWN?! The person that created this video is obviously uneducated. What is that you say? But maybe that is just her well thought out opinion. I bet ALL of her horses are spoiled! Yeah the probably are. Any person that thinks an impatient pawing horse tied in concrete cross ties with no breakaway capacity is cute should not have any say in the debate, not because they are stupid, just uneducated. And with that I end my animal abuse video rant... maybe not.

    This next video, like the last, has some valid points. It is a good video that flows well and is mostly agreeable. Except for a few BLATANT things. Starting from the beginning: 1. around 0:13 a picture of a cave drawing comes up when Makala is talking about people riding horses. Um... yeah... the people in that video... they uh... ATE THE HORSES! Not really good for her argument. 2.at approximately 1:32 the text says quote "Why did you make me jump so high?" So now jumping is cruel? Trust me if the horse didn't want to jump he wouldn't, and I have the hospital bills to prove it. Plus, she jumps her horse Ringo in this video... hypocrite much? 3. at about 2:18 there is a picture with a horse that has some drainage in his eye. Makala is trying to pass this off as a tear of sadness from the horse. Reality check: horses don't physically cry. And lastly: number 4. How come jumping and dressage were attacked but not racking horses that have had the soring process done? Which one do you think is more cruel? Excuse me? Yeah, that's right.

   Please don't misunderstand what I am trying to say here. I love horses. I am against cruelty and will do anything to help out the cause, but I ALWAYS do my research! I have worked at a racking horse barn just to see first hand how the horses were treated (not very well I'll tell you that much). People just REALLY need to take the time to further educate themselves. Opinions are OK, that is what this rant is, but FACTS must be straight or the whole argument in invalid.

2. Barn Tours
     Type barn tours into the search bar on the main page of YouTube and about 60% of the results will be breyer/model horse tours, 20% will be actual barn tours, 10% will be random stuff, and the last 10% of the results will be horrifyingly dangerous situations that are basically death traps for horses. I could write an entire blog on what is wrong with this farm. But I will leave the watching to you, the reader. Enjoy!

...

     I know, right! These poor girls are unfortunately uneducated and misled by the irresponsible adults who paid for this institution. Behold, my reactions to this video:

Wow maybe this category came out a little harsh. Anyway... on to the next category!

3. Horse Breeding Videos.

   Just. No.

4. Videos that make me sick to my stomach

    Like this one

There are many other but you are probably getting tired of listening to me so, until further notice I bid you goodbye!

How is this amusing?

Some people just don't get it. I did a google search for "funny horses" and I will admit somethings were pretty dang funny.

   But mixed in among these humerus horse follies are some pictures that aren't quite so funny (usually posted by non-horsey people which isn't surprising)

I don't even think that this is real but, um... WTF?!

Lions, tiger bears, oh my! How is an animal scared out of its mind funny?

Not laughing yet?

FACT: Pony rides are cruel

I hate pony rides. The kind that where the ponies are hooked up to a hot-walker and just walk in a circle,  particularly tick me off. Problems with pony rides:
1. Boring life for animals
2. constant circles are hard on joints
3. most that are uses are minis and some Shetlands
   -Shetlands are OK for use with small children but NOT FULL GROWN PEOPLE!
   -minis should NEVER be ridden by anything but an infant
4. most of the pony ride operators have no clue about how to act around horses

Poor things... here are some examples:
BEST EXAMPLE
Watch till the end
not as bad but still bad
radio show ponies
Now THIS is a pony ride! This is OK with me! (and cute...)
so cute!

Dover Fail: Elite Edition 2012-2013

   So, personally, I love Dover. They have the best stuff ever. I get all of my show clothes from them. I also love Professional's Choice(PC). I have never EVER seen another elastic girth that I like for the price. Both companies have good, quality stuff. However, on a funny note, I do question their photo shopping skills. Gina Miles has partnered with PC to create a line of bits along with an endorsement. She is a wonderful rider and in 2008 she competed in the Beijing Olympics on McKinlaigh (who is a wonderful horse). So, I noticed that the boots looked suspiciously too clean in the picture in the catalog. Plus, who wears SMBs at 4* XC in first place (in addition to NOT being taped). The blue SMB boots and bell boots just did't feel right.

Sorry for the bad quality!

    

      So I googled some images of Gina competing at the Olympics and TADA! Different boots!

    See?! White, ribbed pull-on bell boots! I will admit the taping on the XC boots is blue but this defiantly doesn't match the ad in Dover! Oh well... just goes to show that you can't trust a picture anymore. I am not bashing anyone in particular I just thought that it was interesting and was wondering if anybody else noticed? Ta-ta for now my fellow horse lovers! 

ESPN follow up.

So, everybody have a nice time watching the eventing video? I think that it brings up some good points about safety and stupid people that buy horses WAY too advanced for the rider. Not to say that putting a rider on an experienced horse isn't a bad thing. The fact that they called eventing expensive and exclusive just tickled me to death! I thought that this was hilarious! Yes, we need 1-2 sets of tack. Yes, we go to XC schooling that cost a good bit. But, we DO NOT compare to the money spent on hunter horses, dressage horses, etc. I will admit I have seen eventers go for a bundle of money however, it allays gives me chills when on a website for some stable they have two categories for horses that are for sale. On one in particular they have "Under $50,000" and "Over $50,000". WHAT!?!? (might I mention that the under category said "none at the moment")
      As far as being exclusive eventing is...well... not. At all. These can be some of the most welcoming people! well, sorry for the random rant on a small part of this video, but yeah. I have MANY more interesting posts that I am working on that I am sure will cause a stir with my millions thousands hundreds twenty umm...five viewers. Please! Let me know that you are out there!